In 2016 we celebrated our first Thanksgiving away from home. Our oldest (and at the time, only) son had just turned one and I had this grand idea that we needed to mark the occasion with a big trip. We had just moved to Asia, and I wanted to prove that we were a family ready for adventure and up for exploring the world around us.
So, I booked us a trip to Singapore. I had to fly there with Gabe by myself because Jason was already there for work. I no doubt overpacked and had several airport mishaps even just getting onto the plane that make me cringe to this day thinking about them. But we made the 5 ½ hour flight and Jason was there to surprise us at the airport.
We toured the main sights for a few days, which was all fine but nothing special (see my 2019 blog post on our Singapore experiences), and then it was Thanksgiving day. I booked us a table at an Indian restaurant in this part of town I was told we HAD to see. It was supposed to be incredible! So authentic and cool! And it was… not. It was tacky at best, dirty and rundown at worst. The restaurant itself was fine, but my 14-month-old had not mysteriously and suddenly turned into a conversationalist who sat still at the dinner table. He was antsy and uninterested in every food we put in front of him. It was not relaxing; it was frustrating and it didn’t fit the image I had of what my first American holiday outside the US would look like.
That first holiday experience has always stuck with me, and I remember it now even more as we experience yet another Thanksgiving away from home. We were fortunate enough to have a lovely and familiar-feeling Friendsgiving this past Saturday with American friends we’ve made in our neighborhood. And that felt like just the right amount of rushing around cooking and baking for me. I had a wonderful time, and now I’m glad I don’t have to do it again today. I consider that growth! I absolutely love Thanksgiving because it’s the one holiday where you’re not meant to gift people anything; you’re supposed to enjoy everyone’s presence together. And I did that a few days ago; it just wasn’t on the actual day, and that’s OK. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.
This growth and change in a lot of ways mirrors some confusing feelings I’ve had lately around our time here in Dublin. It is SO different to our experience in Shanghai and that doesn’t always make sense to me. It could be that we were in a totally different phase of life eight years ago, or it could be that our friend circle back home is so much stronger now than it was before. But I think the location plays into it, too.
In China, all you need to do is look at me to know I am not Chinese. This is no secret and no knock on anyone for treating me differently. But I looked different and sounded different, no matter how long I spoke mandarin. It was a temporary adventure in a part of the world I never saw myself visiting, and we eagerly took advantage of every fun opportunity presented to us. We had kids, but they didn’t have opinions and team sports and friends the way they do now. All those factors tie us to a community much more than we were ever tied a place before moving to Shanghai.
As my wise friend Sarah said to me recently, Ireland is less of an adventure and more of a new way of life. And I went into this experience thinking it would be one adventure after the next, but the truth is that in this phase of life and in this country, that just isn’t a reasonable expectation.
In many ways, Ireland isn’t what I expected it to be, and that’s ok. Part of pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone is sitting in uncomfortable spaces and adapting to the new normal. We amended our holiday expectations this year and had a wonderful time doing what we could with new friends. And maybe next year we will be back to the standard American holiday, or maybe we’ll be here having an even bigger Friendsgiving celebration.
I don’t know what the future brings, and that’s hard for me to admit. I wish I had a crystal ball and knew how it was going to end sometimes. But I guess that’s the part of this journey that still makes it an adventure and not just a lifestyle.
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! May your turkey be moist and may there be second servings of pie for all.
An Ocean Away 
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